Being a groomsman means taking on the tough job of supporting one of your best friends on the best day of their life. It’s an honor, for sure, but if you’re worried about messing the job up, here are a few simple tips you can follow.
Your average wedding comes with a lot of extra work, something a lot of people would prefer not to think about — especially on their big day. If you really want to help your good friend on his big day, be ready to lend as many helping hands as you possibly can. Looking to score bonus points? Get there early, before the bride arrives, and bring the groom with you when you do.
Guests are going to have a ton of questions: Where do they go, what do they do, how do they find a guest book, who takes the cards? Every single question that gets passed up the chain is another headache for the bride and groom. Instead, take a chance to familiarize yourself with all the logistics and details ahead of time. The more you know, the more questions you can intercept. If there’s something you’re stumped on, check in with the wedding planner or find out who’s running the show and speak with them.
Maybe it’s the best man’s job to plan out the bachelor party, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t a hundred other things that need planning, and it definitely doesn’t mean the best man should be planning the bachelor party—which could very well turn into a bachelor weekend—solo. Offering your help in setting up the sweetest possible bro’ trip, or volunteering to plan for one of the events going on, like the rehearsal dinner, is an excellent way to show your support and help the cause.
Remember those awkward middle school dances, and slightly less awkward high school ones? It’s your job to make sure that nothing similar happens here. You, as a groomsman, are pretty much the life of the party. Take your groomsman suit for a spin and hit the dance floor, keep a smile on, mingle with the guests, work the crowd — whatever you can do to keep the good time going and celebration rolling. If you’re game for it, try inviting someone’s grandma or great-aunt to dance. It’ll make for a super cute wedding photo, and the bride and groom will probably thank you, too.
Paradoxically, this is also the best time to remember that you are one of the faces of the party, and this is one situation where party-face and wasted-face really don’t mix. Cut back on the drinking, avoid the cocktails, and make sure you’re drinking water alongside your toasts. The last thing you want to do is cut back on being helpful to the point of being embarrassing.
It’s tough to be patient when you’re waiting for photographic evidence of the greatest day of your life, but camera phones can help cut down on that wait. Take a couple pictures on your phone during the event, chat up some of the guests that did, and make plans to email or text the pics around over the next few days. If the happy couple left on their honeymoon, it’ll be something for them to come back to.
Even if you hate public speaking, this is a major area where you can come in clutch. Practice your speech ahead of time and get a feel for what you’re going to say. If possible, check the wedding schedule for a good time to do it that isn’t stepping on any toes. You don’t need to make it super-long; a meaningful story, anecdote, or happy memory will go a lot further than witticisms and inside jokes.
Wedding parties can make for a diverse group of people coming together. Often times, ranging from childhood friends, college roommates, work friends, brothers, soon-to-be brother-in-laws, and a multitude of other relatives. To help things go as smoothly as possible, do your best to check in on all of these guys, or work to balance things out between them.
As a groomsman, your role is more loosely defined than any other. Why not use that freedom to make it one of the best days of your close friend’s life?